Culinary Juggler T-Shirts

To do before Saturday...

A balanced diet is a Cherry Cheesecake in each hand.

"The meeting will come to order."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

The Inexperienced Cook

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"Balanced Diet"

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

'As editor, your first job will be to rewrite your resume.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

Inbox and Outbox

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

Jack the Ripper.

Funky Chef 1

"Okay, that's one pizza with all our toppings and one without."

'It looks like you need to eat a more balanced diet!'

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

"If Labor Day is supposed to be a day off for workers to spend time with their families...I think Tia Carmen needs a day off from Labor Day."