Culinary Futurist T-Shirts

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'Combination 3.0 dinner is also available in an upgraded version 3.1.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

The Origins of Everything

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Taken genetic engineering too far

'Propane ran out.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'