Culinary Expertise Gifts

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Counting ribs

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Garden.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Too much cilantro

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

Baker Romance

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Holiday Supplies

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

I love Cannelloni

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'