Culinary Decision Maker Gifts

Why George finds it hard to lose weight.

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Cereal Tasting.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

Mediterranean Martini

Paul Bocuse caricature

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'It's an acquired taste!'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'A sandwich?'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'

"Look, gourmet popcorn! Harold, our son is a gourmet!"

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

'Head cheese? Swedish sausage? Limberger cheese? . . . Try Albania!'

'I'd always been told they found the truffles by smell.'

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

"Give me the menus—you've kept the chef in suspense long enough."

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

"What am I making for dinner tonight?"

'I eat them myself, and I can assure you that beetles are even better than ants.'

Molecular Gastronomy Restaurant.

'You think ideas are contained in food?'