Culinary Crime Solver T-Shirts

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

CSI Fridays

'Food critics cannot determine what are crime scenes.'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

'The cook did time for manslaughter with a Saturday Night Special. Not the gun, the dinner.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Bad for you but to die for

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

Dog detectives

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'Where my balls go?'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"He did it!"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

Turkey Autopsy

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'