Culinary Crime Solver T-Shirts

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

CSI Fridays

'Food critics cannot determine what are crime scenes.'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

'The cook did time for manslaughter with a Saturday Night Special. Not the gun, the dinner.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Bad for you but to die for

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Dog detectives

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Where my balls go?'

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

Turkey Autopsy

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud