Culinary Connoisseur For Pets T-Shirts

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Slow food restaurant

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'Well you little rogue, how do you like this one?!' - Hm, yes, hm, yes ... After all ... well, hm, yes ... hm, yes ... Yes! ...'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'