Culinary Childhood T-Shirts

'Tastes just like the cans of soup my Mom used to open and heat.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Soup of the month.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

A heart shaped cake

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Rump roast?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Picking pastries.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Garden.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Too much cilantro

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

I love Cannelloni

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

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