Culinary Chaos Agent T-Shirts

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

Cookbooks

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

'You made me jump.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Cooking With Pollock.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

'The food put up a fight.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Out and In.

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

'The molto randy refelled her genoise.'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'