Culinary Catastrophe Craver Pillows

Pizza's Burning...

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'I'll never look at a cheese omelette ever again!'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'