Culinary Buff T-Shirts

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Baker Romance

'I was in the catering corps.'

A dog at the bakery.

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

Feast

The Perfect Foil

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Cookery Lesson.

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

The perfect man

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'