Culinary Attempt Aficionado T-Shirts

'There! This time I've cut off all the burnt bits!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Domestic Goddess.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Baker Romance

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

Man's cooking explodes.

The Perfect Foil

"What's happened to Quiche?"

Feast

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'