Cuisine Commentator Pillows

'The raie beurre noir Chez Nicky is a revelation. Possessed of state of the art aerodynamic capabilities and that certain 'je ne sais quoi' when it strikes maitre d's tiny, little head.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"States of tofu"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

6 Brothers Falafel

Chez Nous Menu

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Night of the Latkes

View to the Future

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Wok. Don't Wok.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Would you like some wings?"

Cookbooks

"Ninja bread men"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'