Cue Card Holder Gifts

'Our top story: It's now day six of the cue card holders' strike.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

Alex Ferguson

Snooker.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Boy skating on lake, classmates giving scores.

Play golf on the billiards table.

Two men attempt to use the same snooker cue.

"Congratulations, Henderson. I've decided to make you, 'Minister in charge of cock-ups'."

'Yeah, well I bet your FULL of surprises, aren't you buddy boy!'

"Do you have any previous sign-holding experience?"

"Oh, well, this is going to be awkward."

"Will you accept my master's card?"

'Ooooh! Look at this everybody... apparently Mikey here got called up!'

Snooker Channel.

Mail Yourself a Card.

Magic Trick

Harry/Hairy Potter Film

Animal Lib.

Royal Flush

"There's a sight you don't often see, a man attempting to clear the table."

Eat at Mo's.

"I thought you said you were in advertising."

'You're cheating! That's the same ace I've got up my sleeve.'

'You're a lousy singer....'

"Is that the Carmen Delgado?"

"Let's face it you are not a great reader. The only books you finish are cheque books!"

The Obese Sign Holder for Health Foods and Slim Gym.

I can't believe my guardian angel talked me into staying home.

'You know, it's very rude not to look somebody in the eye when you talk to them. What are you looking at anyway?'