Crystal Palace Fan Pillows

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. V. - Theatrical depression.

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Reign Man

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Beefeater

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

Magestically Marble Hill

Canute Does It Again

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

'I see a bright future, a transformation: Beauty, wings, elegance...'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

"I knew I should have checked the meter."

'We'd like you to put a cat-flap in!'

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

'Go on then.....Rule!'

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

"Security was too tight to try and nick one of those Harry Potter books so we went and crashed Prince William's 21st instead."

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"Sire, the barbarian's are no longer at the gate...they're inside it!"

"You and your stones collection!"

"You are going to meet a tall, dark stranger..."

'Another failure to communicate?'

King George IV

Richard III found buried under Leicester car park.

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.