Crystal Ball Consultant T-Shirts

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Quantum Psychic

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Psychic car mechanics.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

Hog Futures

Crystal Ball Plug

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"Beware of start-ups with a negative cash flow."

Big Medium

'I see you meeting a man who can borrow at well below prime.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'