Crystal Ball Auto Aficionado T-Shirts

Psychic car mechanics.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Windows or Mac?

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

Crystal Ball Plug

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

Hog Futures

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

"Beware of start-ups with a negative cash flow."

Big Medium

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

"I see a red cape, oh wait, be warned: There's a sword hidden under it!"

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'I see a bright future, a transformation: Beauty, wings, elegance...'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'