Crypto Conundrum Solver Gifts

I can't believe you're going to sue me, Rudy. What kind of person sues his own friend? I'm not. I dropped the lawsuit, Armstrong. I re-checked the programming in the cryptocurrency I created, and it has a flaw I'd overlooked. I forgot to put a dash on command line 457,000 so as soon as 457,000 people traded the currency, the entire currency collapsed. Sorry I accused you of hacking my computer and stealing all my money, boss. So you're saying you're sorry you willfully and maliciously slandered

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

Oedipus

Tech support...can I help you!

King completes rubik's cube.

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Communication Breakdowns

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Core Business.

"I'll give you a moment."

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

Iraq and the road ahead...

Our Computer is Up/Down.

Cryptologists Anonymous

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

'What goes ho, ho, ho, plop?'

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

Damned if you do...

'Ye gods, Will - art thou still monkeying about with that Ooh-ooh language?'

"I give up. What's black and white and red all over?"

The European Bailout

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

'Okay, I give up. What is black,has two wings and fourteen legs?'

Life irritates art

"You'd better come up with something that will sell - or else. I hope that was helpful."

Here Lies P_T_R W_I_L__S: Inventor of the Crossword Puzzle

Wordplay: Fertilizer.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'