Communications Conundrum Solver Gifts

'We can send a message around the world in a fraction of a second so why does it take so long to get through a quarter inch of human skull?'

Can do...No can do

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Tech support...can I help you!

Communication Breakdowns

Our Computer is Up/Down.

"I'll give you a moment."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

"Go ahead, reply all!"

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Damned if you do...

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'Ye gods, Will - art thou still monkeying about with that Ooh-ooh language?'

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'I wonder if this needle will do....'

Life irritates art

'I have a great existential dilemma. I consider myself a conservative... but I love liberal women!'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"You'd better come up with something that will sell - or else. I hope that was helpful."

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."

Damned if you do Damned if you don't

Hard of Hearing Institute.

'You have 17 new conflicting messages...'

'Fetching the paper was a lot easier than Googling it and printing it.'

Computer Support Line