Crypto Comedian Gifts

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Search for Rare Bitcoin

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

Hardware and software

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"Goodbye cruel world."

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

Donald Trump Wearing Russian Flag Cape

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

Jim's Smart Kettle

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

What's 'Bitcoin'?

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'