Cryptic Conversation Lovers T-Shirts

"If you thought that the way I asked you out was cryptic, wait till we try to figure out who's paying for this expensive dinner."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Protest

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Bar Therapy

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Existentialists In Love

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."