Cryptic Conversation Lovers T-Shirts

"If you thought that the way I asked you out was cryptic, wait till we try to figure out who's paying for this expensive dinner."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Protest

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

'I see an applicant being hired!'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

Bar Therapy

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Existentialists In Love

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."