Cruises Pillows

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

The Desert Island Package

'Hi Dad. How's it going?' - 'Cruise? What cruise?! You've just been on a cruise!!!' - 'Gah! My beautiful inheritance... melting like a tiny novelty ice cube in the cocktail of my parents' retirement...' -

'When you said we'd have to 'live out of our suitcase' on this cruise, I thought it was a figure of speech!'

'You heard the man, Harold. It's a formal cruise--go back to the room and put on your black flip-flops.'

Holiday Reading and Back to Work Reading

"Does it offer luxury ICU cabins?"

'Sorry - no refunds...'

"Ted, you're back! So, how was your Caribbean cruise?"

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

'What the hey, Lorrain This is the last time we use your travel agent,'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

"Harry has been impossible these last few days!"

Tourism in Cuba without Castro.

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30 they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

Excess Baggage: By the end of your cruise vacation, your clothes seem to have shrunk for no reason.

"Did you get the Gundersons' pics of their Caribbean cruise?"

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"After all those desert island cartoons, I suppose we had this coming."

Carnival Sued Under the Helms Burton Act

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

Viking Rover Cruises

'And you say you've been living here alone for years, My God! The ad said this would be a cruise of a lifetime!'

Sailing in the Caribbean via astral projection.

' Me....here?...Well...er...I remember getting on a Club 18-30 Booze Cruise!'

Francesco Schettino

'I told you changing that one word would bring in the business!'

'My name is Igor, and I'm your new Cruise Director.'

'Remember our last cruise The porthole is not a wall safe,'

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

"What's the best ailment I could claim to convince my husband that I need a luxury cruise?"

'It appears that Umchuk is going on a cruise.'