Cruise Vacation Pillows

'Oh, quit griping and be glad they even have a smoking section.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Mr. Punch in Venice

'See you in two weeks!'

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Lifesaver!

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

The Desert Island Package

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'It always great to get away from it all.'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Skiing at Sea

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Tom Cruise

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

Viking River Raids