Cruise Vacation Gifts

'Oh, quit griping and be glad they even have a smoking section.'

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

'See you in two weeks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

Lifesaver!

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"Ticket and passport, please."

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

The Desert Island Package

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

Skiing at Sea

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Tom Cruise

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

'It always great to get away from it all.'