Cruise Ship Entertainer T-Shirts

Berlusconi reverts to cruise ship singer job.

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Now cut that out!'

Tom Cruise

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Octopus with hand puppets performing play underwater.

Pizza Throwing

Castaway hides from cruise ship

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

'We're running low on food, everyone. I think we should cut out the 'All-you-can-eat' buffets.'

Punch has a smoking break.

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"You won't be needing that book, young lady!"

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

There's no need to behave like a wild animal...but it's FUN!!!

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

Tour of the Moat

"Sorry... But I'm afraid this is a couples only cruise!"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'