Cruise Entertainer T-Shirts

"My agent gets me lots of cruise work, he's very good at selling me up river..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

Glyndebourne

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Now cut that out!'

Tom Cruise

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

Landing That Tough Account

'See if you can get them to flambe the check, too.'

Roller Coasters

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

Octopus with hand puppets performing play underwater.

'Finally, a job that makes other people happy from laughing at you and you love it.'

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

Pizza Throwing

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Long Speech Alarm at Company Dinner

Rand McNally's cartography department enjoys a spirited, after-hours game of charades.

'Here's something you need to hear...'

"At my birthday parties you call the shots, but out here you do as I say, soldier!"

"My teacher wouldn't let me clown around in class, so I was forced to run away and join the circus."

The ocean is no place for a star.

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'