Cruise Fanatic T-Shirts

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

'Hello, Noah...the good news is, you're going on a cruise...the bad news is, you're going to need this!'

Lei-ing Hens

'Seasick already? Why, we haven't untied from the dock yet.'

River Styx Cruises

'Oh good. You've brought back one of our life belts.'

"Guys, guys, massive cruise ship! Let's go bow riding!"

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

'See you in two weeks!'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

"Ticket and passport, please."

Airport

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

The Desert Island Package

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Skiing at Sea

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'It always great to get away from it all.'

Cruise.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

Viking River Raids

'Your first cruise then, mate?'