Cruelty-free Crusader Pillows

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

Bears Inc. Magazine.

"Hi! I'm here for Bob the Vegan."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Be kind"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Ironing day.

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'Way too much information on your resume.'

Fumes from furniture

Please Give

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

Be an Anti-Bullying Hero! Choose Respect.

DIY Butchers

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"I suspect he might be depressed, let's give him a label and see whether a few years of unemployment and poverty helps his condition!"

"Isn't it more important to learn how to be a decent human being?"

'It won't take bitcoins.'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

Food Banks - The Need/The Donation.

Cleaner

"Those are muzzles for whistleblowers."

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'