Chemical-free Crusader Pillows

"You mean pesticides and herbicides aren't the same?"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Ironing day.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

Fish want out of polluted river.

Global Warming.

'Yes you have to work Earth Day.'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

Fumes from furniture

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I don't know how this ends. . ."

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

HS2 time bomb...

Seals - Pick your own.

Mine problems

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

DIY Butchers

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

'It won't take bitcoins.'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."