Crown Jewel Fan Gifts

The Queen

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'The Burrito King.'

The Da Vinci Cod

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Reign Man

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Stone henge swing.

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

Beefeater

Rembrandt's Selfies

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"He said the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a wave machine."

Knight Supplies

People who understand Venn diagrams

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

"Oh believe me, I know full well the importance of nutrition: If I had been fed more Royal Jelly, I would be a queen now..."

'Will that be on the rocks?'

God Save the Queen - Standing Room Only

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

Thomas Wyatt

"I'm afraid we don't think you're really henge material."

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe