Crow Conspirator T-Shirts

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

Conducting the crows.

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

Billy strip: bed pan.

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

'A young lady does not say 'Caw Caw', a young lady says, 'Hello, I'm a crow of quality'.'

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

"...but you uncovered this cafe's secret conspiracy to addict us to over-caffeinated drinks."

'..And just how long have you two been secretly married?'

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

'So, the rumours are true! You have been friendly with the Postman! My own son! Shame on you!'

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

Snowman Murder

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

"Relax, dear. I'm sure all lunatic fringe conspiracy theorists occasionally suffer from writer's block."

Thanks to his reputation as a tough and unfriendly loner, nobody flocked with Randy.

'Dad, cut out the middle man, Santa and get me the toys from behind the wardrobe.'

Here lie the earthly remains of Cal Can, beloved town dogcatcher.

Clearly, this pair were planning on getting up to something...

'Dear Great Pumpkin...'

Bird with sign reading: Nothing left to crow about - any change.

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

Translation: "Let's turn off the invisibility shield just long enough to freak 'em out."

"What part of 'Caw' can't you understand?"

"I'm from the president's office. We want you to develop a truth drug."

'What have you done with the dog, Fred?'

They call crows the most cunning animal. . . Humanity's reign ends. . ."