Crossfit Crusader Pillows

"Remember, guys – what happens in this CrossFit gym is references ad nauseam outside this CrossFit gym

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Nervous Student

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

Workout Calendar

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

Great party - thanks.

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

Personal Calorie Counter

"I'm doing this for you, my loves."

Bikes versus Cars

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

"Finding a big enough venue for the partner conference wasn't easy...eventually we had to settle on Las Vegas!"

"We are getting an education, just not the one we paid for."

A housewife is looking at her dishwasher; the door is open, and looks like a drawbridge - men on horseback are emerging.

"Ok. Don't panic! Let's see..if that's north...Now which way am I facing? Dang!! All these trees look alike!..."