Critter Communicator Gifts

Animal Translations.

"All in all, the squirrel news is good."

'I'll talk to the animals for £250 an hour.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

So you're a mocking bird...

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I have no thumbs."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.