Critter Champions T-Shirts

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

"I've got a pulse!"

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'Never shoot straight up.'

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'He says the scent killer isn't working. He can still smell us.'

"I'm from PETA. I have a report you are beating a dead horse."

'I don't regard hunting as a sport.' 'Neither do I!'

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

"Boy that was a cryptic message you left with my mum! OK, I've come to park with a bat, now what?"

Dad, I want a pet!

Cat and Mouse

'And after they figure out human rights, they'll start on ours.'

Adopt a Desert

"Are you the folks who called the exterminator?"

"He was very old and quite sick."