Critique Captain T-Shirts

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Final words on gravestones.

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"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'You are doing it wrong.'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Verbal Orders

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'