Critical Viewer Gifts

'Bradley doesn't actually watch television -- he views it with alarm.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Fear/Knowledge

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Six Thinking Hats

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Unanimous voting.

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"That's the preacher's dog."

"That's hardly necessary!"

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

"Moulting"

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'