'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'
Criminal Prints
Decorate their workspace or home with prints that celebrate the criminal justice profession with humor and style. Ideal for detectives, lawyers, or prison staff.
"We ask that bail be set at $1,000. The defendant poses a significant flight risk."
In hindsight, Lefty wished he'd picked a faster get-away vehicle!
'I'm a grandfather. How would you like it if someone mugged your grandfather.'
Gangster at Confessional
'Dis new software makes our jobs simple! Right here is who ya gotta whack. Here is where ya gotta whack 'em. DIS is WHEN you gotta whack 'em...'
'Hey, rat, most of us use our one call to contact a lawyer, not Crime Stoppers.'
'So, uh, how much is it to store a self?'
"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"
"You should know by now, nobody puts the bite on me and gets away with it!"
'These are pinching a bit around the toes. Can I try another pair?'
'I'm thinkin' this sleeping with the fishes option ain't best practices.'
'Here's your chance to shine at tomb stoning!'
Shrink to criminal - 'At what age did you lose your innocence?'
"I believe the old lady was ahead of you."
'You shall be taken from here to a place of execution.'
"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"
'Big Mikey will now add a few bullet points.'
"The mask is mandatory."
"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."
I guess a flash mob isn't what I thought it was.
Dear Harry, Have Burned Your House And Carried Off Your Wife And Daughter - Frank
The Jew and Morris both begin to understand each other
Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.
Hang on - the "check trunk" light is on again.
Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.
Court. You're sentenced to a public flogging! A hiding in plain sight?!
"Define 'good'."
"Why do they always do that with the concrete? The feet are the best part."
"I made it myself."
"O.K., how about this: instead of assassinating her straight out, we subject her to steam heat all winter, so her skin gets really dry and she's prone to nosebleeds and her eyes itch and she's just a little bit uncomfortable at all times for months on end?"
"I cloned a guy in Reno. How 'bout yourself?"
"I miss the boss trusting us to do the big jobs."
"What ever happened to cement shoes and the Hudson River, slowpoke?"
"I'll stop when it isn't fun anymore."
Criminal Prints Collection
Criminal Mugs
Explore our range of mugs designed for criminal justice professionals. Add humor to their daily routine with clever, profession-inspired designs.
Criminal Pillows
Check out pillows featuring witty messages for criminal justice workers. A fun way to add personality to their home or office decor.
Criminal T-Shirts
Browse our collection of t-shirts perfect for those in the criminal justice field. Show off their pride and sense of humor with stylish slogans.