Criminal Planner Gifts

"Don't get caught."

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

You know, if you made it with a sphere, it wouldn't need a railing. Plan.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Bad Office Planning

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Snail trap

Father Time Management

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

"Better put out notepads and pens in case any of them has an idea."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"Of course nobody can make head nor tale of it, but the good news is that it's been nominated for the Turner prize next year."

At The Clown Bank.

'Steve, I admire your determination to make this plan work.'