Crime Thriller Fanatics Pillows

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Puss in cement boots"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Mobsters at the Beach

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Taking to the sky...

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"I'll have the roasted chicken. Make it look like an accident."

"We have ways of making you talk."

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

'In a surprise move today, the DEA arrested the CIA.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

Hannibal Becomes More Conciliatory.

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

RSPCA Murder squad

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

'Observe, my dear Watson - it's The Case of the Missing Horse!'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

"I'm sorry, sir - The person who handles your account ran off to Rio de Janeiro."

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

"Once again, remains consist of a foul-smelling, gelatinous mass."

Total Corruption.

"Yeah, that's him alright."

'I'm sure going to miss Cuthbart's bragging about his gals, porche, his trips to Europe...'