Crime-solving Fan T-Shirts

'I wish the captain would stop assigning me cold cases!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Minority Report

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The evidence destroyed

Crime in bookshop

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Robber on treadmill

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Moses as a mobster.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."