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'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Police film evidence

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Miami Mice

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

He loves the water.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.