Crime Scene Spectator Pillows

"Thank goodness you're here, officers... Quick, change the channel. I'm missing my favorite soap opera!"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"True crime meets reality TV"

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

Newton's Law and Order.

Bribery and Corruption.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

Turkey Autopsy

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."