Crime Scene Spectator Pillows

"Thank goodness you're here, officers... Quick, change the channel. I'm missing my favorite soap opera!"

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"We need rain."

"True crime meets reality TV"

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Robber on treadmill

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Newton's Law and Order.

Bribery and Corruption.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

Turkey Autopsy

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)