Crime Scene Sanitizer Mugs

Criminal Germs

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"I'm not taking any chances!"

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

'Well she came out of nowhere! It all happened in slow motion!'

'Ugh. Every single day.'

'Take your time. Do any of these look like the shadowy figure you saw at the crime scene?'

"Yep, I'm pretty sure curiosity was involved."

'..but at the end of the day it was just my word against the DNA.'

"I like to carry a lot of hand sanitizer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see my chiropractor."

Sherlock Holmes

'I ain't saying nothing without my literary agent!'

"The jury doesn't want to visit the crime site again, your honor. They want to go to Disneyland instead!"

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."

"They're always in the last place you look."

'I'm not so sure that the intruder broke IN, sergeant. Look, there's snow on the outside of the igloo...'

'Chief, the lab analyzed the keyboard. The suspect smokes, has long fingernails, and eats a whole of of cheese crackers.'

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

CSI: Shakespeare.

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

"Who sanitizes the Sanitizer?"

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

"Mom, when will I be old enough to contain alcohol?"

Murder photographs.

'The only mystery remaining is, who wins the scholarship to Sherlock Holmes University...'

Dispatch, you can call off the search party. We'll need DNA samples to be sure, but it looks like we've found Kermit's remains.