Crime Scene Investigator At Heart Pillows

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

"So that's where you were last night."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Bribery and Corruption.

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

Newton's Law and Order.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

Turkey Autopsy

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."