Crime Scene Detective Pillows

Attempted First Degree Edgar

'I thought I heard a siren.'

'I'm inclined to agree with you, Sir. Worst case of shoplifting I've seen.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"So that's where you were last night."

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Newton's Law and Order.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Bribery and Corruption.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

Turkey Autopsy

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!