Crime Scene Gourmet T-Shirts

CSI Fridays

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'What'll it be?'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"Noooo, nothing I'd really call fresh. Freshish maybe."

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"Stomach content analysis shows the onions were sauteed after the pork was added but before adding the fennel."

'Food critics cannot determine what are crime scenes.'

That elusive Pecorino!

Molecular Gastronomy Restaurant.

"No leads yet, but we're still hoping for a break in the case"

'William and I dug up this little place just last week!'

"This is how it works. If you burn the fish it's "blackened cajun delight". And if you can't be stuffed cooking it, it's called Sashimi!"

Selecting teeth.. "I'll have those, please."

Grand Opening! I wish someone had told me those weren't for haircuts.

"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."

"It's from the NSA. They've accidentally deleted that risotto recipe. Can you send it again?"

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"Man, I just HATE these police grillings!"

"Do you have to take your work home with you?"

'Mm...diabolical!'

"Vinnie would appreciate it if you reconsidered that Yelp rating."

"Listen, you. I'm in the mood for some frozen food."