Crime Scene Casual T-Shirts

'Come out with your fins up!'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I have no thumbs."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Robber on treadmill

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

Penguin identity parade

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"