Crime Prevention Fan Pillows

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

Police Feline Unit

Billy. The Kid.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Police T.V. Appeal, "It's the new softy softy approach!"

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

Some mistakenly think 'HOV Lane' means Hot Occupant Vehicles.

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

'The body? In the mystery section, of course.'

'I'm sure the officer will understand why I'm not stopping.'

"I think it was done with mirrors."

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

'My home's got 'fortress' features galore - the best burglar alarm - armed security guards - intercom system - closed-circuit television - etc. ... I'm a virtual prisoner in my own home!'

'Let me through, please. I want to see if they made it look like an accident.'

'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'

'It was at this recycling plant that what began as a smash-and-grab, soon descended into a blood-bath.'

I hate stampedeing when we 'pack heat'!

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

Honk if you've committed a crime.

A man splits in half when lifting a heavy box.

'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'

i-plod.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 7