Crime Prevention Curious T-Shirts

'To save the inconvenience of future muggings would you like to consider the convenient option of setting up a direct debit?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

'Your father installed a security system.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

"I should have realised she'd poisoned my dinner. It tasted much nicer than usual."

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'