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Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

"Clever, don't you think? It's our undercover branch."

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'I knew him before he became a police dog!'

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Police film evidence

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Slow Night

Violent Crime Statistics

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Gangster's To-Do List

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ignorance of the Law

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Exposed and imprisoned.