Crime Fighter With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Slow Night

Violent Crime Statistics

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

Gullboy and Pigeonman

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"

'Ugh. Every single day.'

A Gun Proposes to Violence.