Crime Fighter With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Slow Night

Violent Crime Statistics

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

The Ferguson Effect

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

The Lavender Dot - Part Five

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

'All your money or the pig sneezes!'

A Gun Proposes to Violence.

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"